ID Life
by Don't Ask Uchiha
Summary: Deidara's life is tough.ninja world has gone underground,  for deidara, he just wants to live life.he was a ninja, but not anymore.he just wants to find a job he likes, find a man he likes, and portray as a woman as he wants. life can get crazy sometimes.
1. Chapter 1

I-D Life

By: Don't Ask Uchiha why? i don't know really, just don't ask.

Deidara-age:21

itachi later in story: age 28

summary: for deidara, life is tough. the ninja world has gone underground, and for deidara, he just wants to live life. sure, he was a ninja, but not anymore. now he just wants to find a job he likes, find a man he likes, and portray as a woman as he wants. life can get a little crazy sometimes.

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><p>deidara twirled the red lollipop around in her mouth. with her hair in its usual ponytail, and with red lipstick on, and an outfit similar to a school girl skirt, and a hoodie. men around her couldn't tell she wasn't a <em>she, <em>deidara was a _he_. She sat a bit forward, with her knees together and her converse shoes apart, in that feminine pose. she was watching the young men, just as they were watching her. to some, she gave a wink. to others, she looked at their body then gave a flirty smirk. Now done with this town plaza seating, she got up, grabbed her shoulder bag, and trotted towards the shops in the street, her skirts swishing side to side with her hips.

walking down the sidewalk, deidara stopped infront of her favorite store. "Unn~" Deidara sighed, looking at a cute blue pladd dress. She bent her hips back a bit, the skirt fluttering, and she put one hand leaning on her thigh. then flipped her hair to the side of her face, where it went back to its unchanged position. "unn~ that's such a pretty dress! wish i had it... unn!" She said in a soft, quiet, decent for a women pitch of a voice. Deidara stood back up straight, and put her hand on her lollipop stick, thinking- no daydreaming- about what she would look like in that dress, and with big boobs. The dream brought a smile to her lips. _bored now unn._ deidara thought, and trotted another way. not a happy trot, but a board, wanting a man trot. plus. she really wanted that dress, but had little money. she didn't have a job. mostly because people found out that she wasnt entirely a _she_ persay. and it hurt Deidara's feelings. So she got fired from at least three well paying jobs. it was a downer for sure.

So Deidara got to the end of the block, and didn't want to walk home, so she hooked a right, went a bit farther, and came apon the apple store. "oooh!" Deidara's eyes fell apon the giant ipad in the window. she kind of ran inside. inside the somewhat busy store, her eyes grew wide, and she wanted to try out everything, but more importantly, an ipod. of which she didn't have.

"welcome to apple, can i help you, miss?" a male worker walked over to Deidara. he had dark brown hair, short, and had a goatee. he had a blue apple shirt, and black jeans. Deidara got lost in his green eyes for a momment, before blushing, and saying," um... no im fine. i just, like, wanna look at an ipod, unn. i don't have one, so i wanted to try one out 'n stuff. yknow?" she smile.

"yeah, thats fine. what kind were you thinking of?" the man asked.

"Uh... the ipod nano, cuz they're so cute and small. they're really coloful too." Deidara put her finger to her mouth in thought.

"Sure thing. they're right on that wall next to you, and if you need anything, just come and ask." The man clapped his hands together, and walked to another customer. Deidara happily walked over to the ipod new nanos. the yello, green and blue caught her eye. especially the yellow. she turned it on, and put in the headphones. then she tuned into her favorite radio station. it played pop. she liked this song. like a G6. Deidara lightly swayed her hips, and her head went side to side. Jammin out for a while was fun, but now it was getting to the evening. Deidara had to get home at the studio she lived at at the top of a building run down in the old part of the city. so Deidara left the store, and crossed the street to the left. She trotted down the street.

As Deidara rounded the corner, she saw a group of men, that started to follow her. _aww shit._ she thought. They made whistling noises. "Hey sweet thing, where you goin'?"

_ignore them, deidei, ignore them_. She thought. She looked behind her again, and saw the men were closer. "Hey, hottie, can you hear me?" One of the fatter men grabbed deidara's wrist.

"Let go of me, Unn~" She struggled weakly.

"oh, i'll let go. If i can grab some ass!" The other men laughed at the leader's line. _come on, you used to be a fighter, why not again? oh yeah, i don't like it too much. not very lady like..._ Deidara thought. "No!" Deidara twisted the man's wrist, but she didn't use enough force. so she spun around, and kneed the man in the junk as hard as she could possibly do. He let go, and fell to the ground. Deidara, fixed her skirt, and backed up, very nervous, and turned and ran.

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><p>It took her thirty minutes to run straight home. and for some reason, she felt safer now in the bad part of town. Deidara took out her key to her studio home, and ran up the stairs of the old building. She opened the big heavy metal sliding door, and walked inside her studio. dropping the shoulder bag, closing the door, and inside feeling safer now. Deidara heard the phone ring.<p>

"...hello?" Deidara asked.

"Hello, Deidara?" ..._mom?_

_"_mom?"

"yes. Deidara, why are you talking like that? you're a man, remember?"

"No mom, im not okay? I. Am. A. Woman."

"No deidara, you're sick, this is not healthy."

"you know what mom? whats not healthy is talking to you! if meimei was alive, she would understand."

"you need to snap out of this! you are not a woman, nor will you ever be. you're my son. SON!"

"I am you're daughter, even if you reject me i will allways be a woman. i need to settle down with a man, and be happy."

"you're not still thinking of the Uchiha are you?"

"Well... Not right now. he got arrested and is in jail."

"he's not good for you. but back to the point, are you gay, Deidara?"

"No i'm straight, and i like men. because im a woman and that makes me straight!"

"... Fine." Mother hung up the phone. Man, did she want Itachi Uchiha out of jail...

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><p>END<p>

So, please no flames. review. i'll work on more! thanks for reading. why? Don't Ask! (uchiha)


	2. Chapter 2

I-D Life

By: Don't Ask Uchiha, because really, don't ask.

summarry on first page

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><p>The Alarm wrang, and Itachi was ushered by the guards to his new cell. he really wasn't in the mood to be moved. He was in hand cuffs on both his hands and his feet. He had threatened to kill his last room mate, and so they moved him to another cell, hoping he'd cool off with a different roommate. As itachi moved along the hallway, from various doors and windows men howled, and whistled. some thought of him as potential new meat. But itachi was no new meat, he was a stone cold ninja mass murderer. But the modern world had no recollection of that. One man in a cell called out some insults, getting itachi annoyed. so Itachi spat on the man through the bars. hitting the other inmate in the face. "Hey! Cut it out!" The Guard grabbed itachi by the hair, and forced him forward. No, itachi wasn't going to go all submissive on them.<p>

Itachi stopped walking. "Move. Now." the guard behind him said. Itachi stood there, staring at the annoying inmate. "That the best you got?" The man asked. "heh, not in the least." Itachi grinned darkly.

"I think you're all talk."

"want to find out?" Itachi's grin grew as he thought of how to kill him in handcuffs.

"Stop you two, cut it out. we will restrain you." the guards cut in. Itachi ignored it.

"Yeah i would, but you're not man enough to come face to face, bitch!"

".." Itachi chuckled. "you don't have the balls to do what i've done."

"you think you tough?"

"i don't have to think. i know." Itachi began walking again.

"Cell number C147." the guard. They yelled at the inmate- itachi's soon to be cellmate- to step against the wall. Itachi didn't want to be back inside a cell. So as the Guards told him to walk in, he refused. "If you do not move, we will use force."

"I'd like to see you try." Itachi laughed.

"Sir, we will taze you."

"Okay, okay, i'm going." Itachi shrugged his shoulders with his hands behind his back. as he got to the door, he turned quickly and -since he couldn't move his arms- he headbutted the guard. as he did so, the female guard behind him lifted up her tazer gun. Itachi didn't want to be tazed today, so he walked into the cell. he turned around and they undid the foot cuffs,and through the hole in the door, he slid his hands, and they undid the handcuffs. So now the door was locked, and itachi was inside with his cellmate. but as the guards turned to leave, the female guard who's job it was to monitor, she stayed.

Itachi made a little whistling noise. The woman ignored it. Itachi banged the door, and walked towards the inside of the cell. The cell was very small. two bunks on the left, a barred window, a smalll dresser, and a sink and toilet. only three feet between the bunk and the dresser. the cell was longer than it was wide. Itachi turned to his cellmate. they were both in prison uniform : jeans, and a white undershirt, and a blue collar shirt. Itachi's jeans were down low, and so was his cellmate's. only wardrobe difference was that the cellmate had his shirt all the way buttoned up. itachi has his shirt unbuttoned.

"Slant eyes." The guy nodded to itachi. Itachi didn't respond, he just sat down on the bottom bunk. He didn't want to stay in this place. But he knew unless he acted better that he wouldn't be allowed out. but what about a halfway house?

"hey, slant eyes, thats my bunk." The guy was really annoying.

"hey, fuck-face, its my bunk now." Itachi stretched out on the bunk, and turned to face the wall. he closed his eyes.

"Hey, slanty, do we got a problem? thats my bunk."

"well," Itachi sat up, and looked at the guy. "If we have a problem i'd like to settle it."

"How you suppose we do that?" The man asked, cracking his knuckles.

"My way." Itachi gave a dark grin. The man got the hint. The cellmate swung first, and itachi responded by grabbing the wrist, and flipped the man onto the ground, with itachi's arm on his neck.

"Hey! Back off!" the female guard yelled. then into her radio she said "i need support on cell C147. ASAP. its... yes the same inmate. i think we need to restrain him."

the door opened, and itachi, hopped up onto his feet, and ran for the door. He failed, and got tazed in the side. He didn't drop, not right away. he stayed on his feet for a good ten seconds before his body seized up, and he fell to the ground, his head hitting the wall.

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><p>Itachi opened his eyes. he found himself sitting in a chair, strapped to it. <em>...shit<em>. he was restrained. he looked up, towards the wall that, actually, was just plexy glass. he was in a mental survailence room.

"Whats going on?" Itachi yelled to the guard watching him.

"You are under surveillance. we have reason to believe that you aren't mentally stable. you will be held in here, until we can get a consult, and you can get evaluated." The guard answered.

"Why the hell do you think i'm-" Itachi stopped himself. maybe this was a way out. "Fine."

So itachi waited. and waited...and...waited. Finally, a doctor came. "hello, im doctor Nore. Why don't you tell me why you get so angry, uchiha-san?"


End file.
